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For myself, I have not found that being in a Taken In Hand relationship has changed my character very dramatically. It certainly hasn't turned me into a lady, heaven forbid. I've always thought that sounds like a terribly boring thing to be. Although I am a fairly quiet person anyway, it's not because I'm a lady, but because I mostly can't think of anything to say to people. My husband generally tries to draw me out rather than shut me up.

What has changed is that my husband makes much more of an effort to control his temper, which makes me feel more respect for him, which makes it easier to obey him (most of the time), and because I feel more submissive to him I also feel more turned on by him, because with me the two things go together. The spanking hasn't changed my character, and I honestly don't think it could. some people may have their characters changed by punishment, but it doesn't work for me. I'm caught in I suppose a sort of benign circle of more respect = more submissvieness = more sexual arousal = him less likely to lose his temper = more respect etc. It's a self-perpetuating situation.

As for no cursing - well, no I can't say I've given up cursing, though my husband has always been much more profane than me anyway, and he really does try very hard not to swear in front of the children nowadays, whereas he never used to bother about that, he seems to have more of a sense of setting a good example to them than he used to. Spitting - no, I never used to do that. Crossing my legs -well, they're sometimes crossed and sometimes not, nobody keeps them crossed all the time, surely? That's bad for the circulation, isn't it? Ladylike behaviour isn't something my husband is at all interested in, and as for dressing properly, dear me no. His idea of 'proper' dressing is that I should wear as little as possible, and that it should be tight and revealing. "You should wear more plunge-neck tops" he said to me the other day. This is in December, for crying out loud. As for pulling out chairs and opening doors, no I'd have to wait a long time for him to start doing that, but fortunately I don't want him to.

If the main purpose of a DD relationship is to make a woman more 'ladylike' then I'm certainly not in one, and don't want to be. But I think the DD aspect is about something else for us. Spanking me when I've done something that annoys him relieves tension for both of us, and makes us feel better, whereas in the past my husband might have lost his temper and shouted at me, which used to make him feel better, but didn't do anything except make me miserable, and certainly didn't make me want to cooperate with him. Now he takes out his annoyance on my bottom rather than my psyche, and that's better for both of us.

I personally think that fondlyandfrimly man is full of shit, he advocates non-consensual spanking which is something I am totally against, and he obviously thinks that the same thing works for everybody, which it doesn't. I think there are many different ways that a DD relationship can work, there isn't only one way.


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Last-modified: Fri, 16 Sep 2022 20:54:08 JST (192d)